heart so heavy
Felt a dagger to my heart and a slashing of hopes today, still reeling from it, trying to make sense and understand what God is trying to do and what I'm supposed to do now. Tired, so tired, this endless reality. Hoping somehow that I may bring Him glory in this. Thanks to Andy for this Gospel reminder, though my heart breaks...I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of his salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, his face.
'Twas he who taught me thus to pray,
And he, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favoured hour,
At once he'd answer my request;
And by his love's constraining pow'r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, he made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow'rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with his own hand he seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
'Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may'st find thy all in me.
John Newton, 1779
posted by FaithChristine @ 09:51
5 Comments:
So where is the mature Church, the members who have traveled this sod and come out on the other side? Why are more people not available to step up and encourage and strengthen us through these difficult times?
The church seems to have plenty of pat answers, but simple answers only work for simple Christians who have not even dreamed of coming to these trials, let alone going through them.
I have nothing for you, Faith, but I'm glad I'm at least not alone in my struggle for finding faith
Thanks Faith . . . I needed to hear this too!
Hi Faith!
Stumbled upon your blog here in blogland!
How is life?! What are you doing these days!?
P.S. Love this post. Good stuff.
~ Leanne
(((((Faith)))))) Not sure what's happening with you, but God is good. We rest in that when we don't understand the rest. We rest in what we know to be true and hope to find the answers we seek. Even if we aren't given the answers, God is still good.
Bless you friend. Ellen
... by the way. Your post... I've been there. I hope everything turns out for the best Faith. Hang in there.
~ Leanne
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