:: greatness is a life well-lived ::

true greatness and living well...

I thought I'd share some personal thoughts I had back in June, in the days before and after John's proposal...it's quite interesting how the thoughts flow and connect.

June 20, 2007

I have this tendency to want to run away when things get tough or boring. The thrill of adventure inspires me for awhile, but then the realities of life hit and I'm left wanting something else.

It scares me, that I'm like this. No real longevity to speak of, and the clear tendency to avoid sticking with it. Too often fear grips me of what this life is and who I am and how incapable I am at living it well.

What is it that I need to learn or do in order to become a person of endurance and joy in where I'm at? What is my hope or peace? Is it not Christ Jesus my Lord? Is my name not Faith Christine? And such is my struggle in this life...to trust and not fear, to be a little Christ in this dark world, to be a Faithful Christian.

Thanks be to God, who gives the victory in Christ Jesus!

June 23 2007

What do I want from life? What I want most is to do great things for God. What I lament most is my lack of greatness and my failures when I attempt greatness. Maybe I heard it all wrong or my pride mixed with a heart longing to serve and twisted my thinking into believing that I am the one who determines what is great or worthy of my time and attention. And in the process I have struggled simply to live well right where I am. For as soon as things "here" got tough or boring I would stop thinking of it as something great and would start seeking something else that would fit my ideal of greatness, all the while living with a restless and discontent heart. And I have deceived myself into thinking greatness is something "out there" that I define and pursue, when in reality greatness happens right here through living and loving well and looking back to see how great God has been to work through me in spite of myself.

And tonight, John has promised to help me learn to live well, and he has invited me to live and love well with him.

And I have said yes.

I've never done anything like this before, and it's scary and difficult and my restless and discontent heart wonders what I'm doing "settling for this" but my heart of hearts and the heart of Christ within knows that this is a good settling, for it's a new beginning to a long-haul of something truly great.

It's a gracious gift of God, this love, and I'm trusting Him to be great through us both for His honor, glory and greatness.

posted by FaithChristine @ 21:09