:: greatness is a life well-lived ::

Cleaning House

A couple Saturday's ago, I decided it was time for a change. I took all that Saturday to clean and rearrange my room. Let me say it's pretty sweet now. But more than just a cool new setup, it was also quite symbolic of what's happening internally. See, I also took time to rest, be quiet (I didn't even have any music playing while I cleaned), wait on God, fast and pray. By the end of the day, I was very calm - at peace - and had a quiet spirit. Much needed in this crazy-paced world I live in.

Well, a few weeks have passed since that cleaning, much busyness and some out-of-town time, and although I had really desired to keep it clean, it again looks as though something has exploded and made more mess.

Also symbolic of my heart.

I almost wish I could burn everything up and start over, something drastic to bring a true perspective on what's important, what's real, what matters eternally. I feel near the end of myself, just want to say forget it all, I quit, I can't do it, I don't care, I'm done...now as opposed to the "super-depressiveness" of how that sounds, really, I'm not depressed. It's more a sick-and-tired of myself, and want to be different, need to rearrange some things in my life and clean out the messes, get a proper perspective of what's really eternally important, and then focus on that - to focus on CHRIST - and live all my life in relation to that focus, instead of getting selfish and distracted. I'm tired and need to let go of some things that keep me from being all God wants me to be.

Wrestling and cleaning house. Hoping that maybe I can simplify and get rid of those things that I hold onto for no good reason. Praying God does His mighty work in the midst of my anxious graspings. Praying that I become more like Jesus. Learning a lot lately about waiting on God. Long to just look into His eyes and feel His love overwhelm me. And in that, find grace, mercy, peace and deepest joy. "Come, Lord Jesus, Come"

posted by FaithChristine @ 07:10