Heritage
H. Morley Fraser 15 June 1922 - 28 June 2004
How does a year slip away so quickly? How does life slip away so quickly? How do you reconcile your heart to the fact that a significant (one of the most important) man in your life is no longer directly involved? That he won't someday give my boyfriend/fiance the "20 questions" routine? That he will not be there to dance with me at my wedding someday? That he won't be able to teach my children the fun little songs and games that he taught me? That he won't be there with his age-old wisdom, wit, humor and love? That I can no longer hear his voice or feel his hugs.
I can't believe he's been gone from my life for a year. Did I expect him to live forever...of course not. I was blessed to even have him as long as I did. I just did not want to say goodbye so soon. Not yet. I still needed him...still need him, his grandfatherly love and affection, his gruff gentleness, his matchmaking ways :-), his strength and influence, motivation and heritage.
And what a heritage. That I'm in the Fraser line is an honor and joy to my heart. It's something that influences my character, my characteristics, my whole life, in a deep and significant way.
Four years ago at my Aunt Linda's wedding, I danced with my grandpa to the song "Unforgettable" and remember conciously searing the memory into my head for the future, because I knew he wouldn't be around forever, and it was truly an unforgettable moment, also captured in this photograph.
And I sang this song to my grandpa as he lay on his deathbed. Psalm 23 was his favorite Psalm. It just so happened to also be my Psalm for last year, when I was 23 years old.
He makes me lie in pastures green.
He leads me by the still, still waters.
His goodness restores my soul.
Chorus: And I will trust in You alone
And I will trust in You alone.
For Your endless mercy follows me
Your goodness will lead me home.
He guides my way in righteousness
and He anoints my head with oil,
and my cup, it overflows with joy,
I feast on His pure delights.
And though I walk the darkest path
I will not fear the evil one,
for you are with me, and your rod and staff
are the comfort I need to know.
Today the feeling is more of a general tiredness, a light numbness that makes me quiet and calm. Death reminds me of the fact that this is not it...we are not home yet. And so I'm homesick. And plodding along, trying to be faithful, yet a stranger here, a foreigner, alien...making steps toward the abundant life, longing for REALITY and forever. Longing for Jesus, knowing He's close to the brokenhearted, a Shepherd who carries me forever.
posted by FaithChristine @ 14:03
3 Comments:
A year--already?
And, only a year?
Happy anniversary, if such things are celebrated there, Morley. Happy memories and building on them, Faith.
Faith:
You are one very special lady. You have so many talents that you freely share. God will bless you with an awesome husband:)
Love, G-Ma F
I don't know how this day slipped by without my noting it and letting you know I knew what day it was. I'm so glad God doesn't let such things slip by Him. I'm glad to be able to read between the lines of your blog and see His tender mercies and His nearness to you on that day.
I count it a privilege to feel that in some small way I know who Grandpa Fraser was, even though I "met" him only through the memories that were shared at his funeral. Truly the highest praise of him was that he was a lover of God, and a lover of people--and all the other amazing, unique, rich, unforgettable things about him came from those two foundational things. You have an amazing legacy to pass on to future generations, my friend. What a privilege to tell your children and your children's children about him...and to challenge and inspire them to follow his example.
I'm certain that one year ago (in earth time) he heard "well done, good and faithful servant."
Indeed, Grandpa Fraser...well done.
Post a Comment
<< Home