09 June 2005

a not-so well-worn path

For all the discussion I have about it, the reality of 'relationships' is not as common of an experience for me. It's a topic I'm not willing to discuss very openly on a public blog...but let's just say that some crazy things are happening in the area of boys (or "men" since I'm in the post-college category. haha!)

I think God's after me, challenging me in how I think about relationships. Just kind of throwing random guys in my path out of nowhere, who ask me to go out. This is not normal! And it'd be easy for me to freak out and be like, "whatever, I'm not going to waste my time on you unless I know if I could marry you." But I think God's trying to teach me to "chill out" and alter my thinking. Recently, I've complained about my life being boring, and complained that since leaving college I don't have as many guy friends to just hang out with, and complained that since I work in a trailer outback of the Radio station, I don't have much social interaction (and plus, most of the people I work with are older and married, so that's a different kind of interaction anyway)....so, God's getting a kick out of His plans for my summer, I guess.

But, while learning to relax, have fun and just be myself, I'm going to continue to be missions-minded and focused on Christ. And to not become shallow, cold and heartless, I intend to learn to value people rightly, to encourage and spur others on toward Christ, and perhaps recruit some more missionaries for the harvest field!

I'm not sure what God's doing, and I'm not even sure why I'm blogging about this...except that it's happening for real, and it's not just dreams in my head anymore. I'm learning to look at things (relationships) in reality rather than create unrealities in my mind. It's hard, but I feel that the changes happening are God-initiated, and not my own foolishness. I tread lightly though, and fear my own heart's deceitfulness. So do pray for me - wisdom, maturity, and Christ-focus - as this summer season of my life transpires.

And due to the sensitive nature of my heart and this blog, I will be again blocking comments. :-)

posted by FaithChristine @ 12:00