Happily Ever After...an analogy that goes deeper
I felt it again, that familiar pang of bitterness and doubt and skepticism. It seemed I could not get away from these happy people filled with such abundant life, a strange mix of love and hope and a wild faith in “happily ever after.” And I hated it. I loathed the planning and scurry of activity. I avoided the gatherings and parties. I slipped away or tried to change the subject anytime two or more of them were in a room together talking of what was to come. I didn’t make it my goal to rejoice with them (how could I?), but I wasn’t out to ruin their happiness either (but sometimes it came across that way).It wasn’t always this way. I used to have such dreams, such child-like pleasure in the hope of “happily ever after.” My eyes would mist over when I shared together with others, when I witnessed a new relationship and when I got to see that deepest commitment made. I was so involved with anything and everything I could. I loved it and couldn’t wait for my turn.
But wait I did and found myself in that position of waiting far too often. Nothing was happening, but life moved on, and so I had to as well. I gave up my childish dreams as silly. One after another of my hopes were dashed to bits, time and again. Disappointment seemed my lot, and I guess that’s where the bitterness began to set in.
Sometimes I would meet someone who didn’t strike me as so silly and shallow about this life of love, but who had gone through the depths of life’s realities and yet still had this undying hope. My heart warmed to the thought that maybe there was truth to my childhood dreams, that maybe there was something real and possible and for me.
But it was the realities of life and the thwarting of happiness that continued to embitter me and create an even deeper skepticism. And still I couldn’t get away from these happy people. They seemed to multiply around me and drive me crazy with a gladness I couldn’t understand, not firsthand, and I was angry at this lack of firsthand understanding. I was spiraling deeper into unhappiness and heartache; yet in the midst of it, I didn’t realize that my heart was never more ready for True Love than at that time.
And that’s when I met Him. Or rather, He met me. The bitter tears so blinded my eyes that I failed to see who it was that grasped my hands and led me through the thorns and brambles I had so built up around my heart. In His kindness and from the depths of true love for me, He, in rescuing me from the hell of my life, caught His hands on the thorns while clearing the way for me to be set free. When I finally was in a more spacious place, it was then I saw His hands, bloodied and scarred, for me. New tears began as I realized together His great sacrifice and His great love for me. A spring of life and joy and love and hope burst from my heart, and I began to understand the wild abandon of faith present in all those who had bothered me so much before.
He introduced me to those people again, those Christians, and me, now changed and enabled to rejoice together with them, as a Christian now myself. And what rejoicing it was! I finally belonged; I finally understood. And I finally believed in the real Happily Ever After. For that wild faith in what’s to come is based entirely in Who we will be with for the Ever After, and He is what makes it truly Happy. And He is what makes life now to be abundant!
~~~
But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order than in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance. Romans 2:4
You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand. Psalm 16:11
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. Psalm 18:19
Thanks goes to my dear friend Esther, who inspired the direction of these thoughts. TIG lives! ~ fcm, 10 Aug 2006
posted by FaithChristine @ 07:30
4 Comments:
Wow. Thanks for sharing that.
Be careful of Carolyns' Blog "Solofemininity". She supports some extreme ideas when it comes to dating; such as "evangelicals should only date evangelicals" and that adults who date should have a church-appointed chaperone.
If women all followed Carolyn's advice, nobody would ever get married, which I think is her goal.
To Anonymous, I'm more concerned with your harsh judgementalism toward Carolyn, (and that without even being bold enough to leave your name) than whether what Carolyn says is extreme or should be followed as if it's Gospel-truth. It's good to engage with opinions other than our own, and I find encouragement and challenge in things Carolyn says, whether I agree or not. She's not God, and I don't think she'd claim to be. And I find what she says to point toward Christ, which is ultimately what matters, even more than if anyone else in this world ever gets married.
http://solofemininity.blogs.com/
Haven't looked at the solofemininity blog..... but as far as what you wrote I certainly could relate.
The feelings were all very familiar. As an infertile woman I know what it's like to watch from the sidelines. But God is good and he does meet us at our deepest need. Our circumstances aren't always miraculously changed, but our hearts can be.
This goes back to the "it's not about me" thought. There are two sides to the coin. On the one side, he allows me to grieve and he comforts me. On the other side, whatever will bring him the most glory, so be it.
Thanks for sharing.
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