tollers asked me how i'm doing...
what to say? i need a vacation, need to get away from here to someplace with lots of space and room for thinking, praying, being alone, away from people, open fields, near a beach...a quiet, God-filled space.there's so much noise around me...whether school stuff, work stuff, other people, city life, music, my own thoughts...
and the speed of things happening is draining...the past month, but even more than that, this whole semester...running non stop, one thing after another, no breaks....busyness, mental stimulation, great opportunties, activity, emotional wrestlings, heartache, loss, hope, fun, pain, growth, maturity....
loads and loads of wonderful things. life back in me again. enjoyment of life and people and being alive and in this place God has me. so i'm overjoyed at how God has been good to me this year. really, really grateful. amazed to see the changes that have come about in the past several months.
but i need a holiday, a very long holiday. :-)
God keeps shaking up the little boxes i like to create to try to understand things. like cs lewis' house of cards illustration...so much that's happened lately leaves me clueless and baffled, don't even know how to begin to understand what's going on or what He might be trying to do. i try desperately to bring order and get my little mind around the mysterious happenings, to no avail. as soon as i think i may have figured out a small, small bit of it, He upsets it all again, and i'm left scratching my head, mystified...
many other things jumbling around in my head and heart...
one major thing....i wonder who i really am, what i really want, what God really has for me...not bound up or even loosely tied to anything or anyone else, but what it is that God has specifically for ME. i think i'm going to be aiming for discovering and pursuing that in the coming weeks/months...really getting down to business. serious evaluation and prayer.
So, um, yeah. that's a bit of how i am. tired of the pace of life, both how i've made it and how it just is. hope for some time to unwind once the semester is finished...your prayers are invited and needed. cheers.
posted by FaithChristine @ 08:32
1 Comments:
you have a way of piecing together and putting into words alot of the random thoughts that go thro MY mind!
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